When Moms Get Sick...life and dinner go on!

Photo by Ken Williams for The Concord Monitor

Have you seen the Man Cold video on Youtube?

A British guy lies on a sofa, to weak from his sniffles and slight fever to even call out for help. As he attempts to convey the extreme tragedy of his condition to his wife, paramedics burst in and give her a bell so she won’t be late with soup and soothing pats. It would be hilarious if it weren’t so true. When Dads get sick they get coddled. When Moms get sick, we get nothing.

Well, not nothing exactly, because we do get to continue with all our regular duties. Can I be the only mother whose children have bypassed a perfectly healthy father on their quest to find someone to tie their shoes and find their library books, no matter if that someone is crouched in the bathroom in the throes of a particularly nasty stomach bug? It’s nice to feel needed and all, but seriously, fathers have opposible thumbs too, and eyes that can sometimes be used to locate things—not the ketchup in the front of the fridge of course, but surely the backpack that is hanging on a hook in the mudroom.

I’m always waiting for that Hoarders show to stage an intervention, only to discover that the poor woman inside the home isn’t actually a hoarder, simply a Mom whose been hit with the flu during a school vacation. It could totally happen. I know this because I recently took to the sofa with strep and in the four hours I was supine, I’m surprised the Board of Health didn’t condemn the kitchen. When I came downstairs to get a drink I found every single cabinet open, as well as the microwave and the fridge. A half-melted Popsicle had been abandoned on the counter, along with the open jar of peanut butter which was spouting 3 butter knives like a modern-art take on a vase of flowers; I briefly thought about naming it Still Life with Skippy and trying to sell it to a wealthy collector. The sink was overflowing with dishes and cups as well as a cookie sheet that appeared to have been used to melt crayons. I can’t confirm that because I was too weak to open the oven, but the curly, multicolored shreds of paper on the floor were a clue. Until I entered the kitchen that day I would not have considered it possible to have one’s slippers make both a crunching and a sticky vrrrripping sound at the same time. If you don’t believe me just invite your children to set up lemonade stand without your help or supervision: the spilled mix crunches and the lemonade that gets sloshed sticks. It took me two days to recover from the actual strep infection. The recovery from the two days when I wasn’t completely focused on cleaning up after everyone took much, much longer.

The next time you get sick, and everyone at your house still expects dinner on the table, try this recipe. It combines frozen chicken breasts with a few key ingredients from the pantry to make pulled chicken so delicious, someone might actually bring you a nice cup of tea. Serve the chicken on rolls or in taco shells alongside some coleslaw, and if you are too sick to make it yourself, beg your hubby to swing by KFC and grab a quart of theirs. Better yet, get him to take everyone out for dinner so you can gather your strength for the recovery from your recovery.

Sweet and Spicy Pulled Chicken
Makes 6-8 sandwiches, twice as many tacos

1 28 ounce can diced tomatoes, well drained in a colander
1 medium onion, roughly chopped
3 cloves garlic, roughly chopped, or 1 teaspoon garlic powder
1/3 cup prepared mustard
1/3 cup Worcestershire sauce
½ cup brown sugar
2 teaspoons liquid smoke
½ teaspoon crushed red pepper, more or less to taste
1 teaspoon fresh ground black pepper
6-8 frozen chicken breasts
Hamburger rolls or taco shells for serving
1 quart coleslaw for serving (optional)

Mix together the first nine ingredients in a medium sized saucepan and bring to a simmer over low heat. Place the frozen chicken breasts into the bottom of a large crock pot. If the breasts are frozen solid and won’t fit easily, run them under hot water for a few seconds and then separate as needed with a big knife. Pour the hot tomato sauce over the breasts and set the crock pot on high. Cook for 8-10 hours until chicken shreds easily with a fork. Remove the chicken to a large bowl. Use a slotted spoon to scoop out all the tomato and onion and toss with the chicken. Moisten the chicken with about a cup of the cooking liquid and discard the rest.

Serve on rolls or in taco shells, garnished with the coleslaw.

Here's the video.....

The Buddy System: Farewell Fair Robin

Photo by Ken Williams for The Concord Monitor

We learned three things from the swimming lessons we endured in the early 1960s:
* pink gingham bikinis are shockingly see-through when wet
* mandatory swim caps were both ugly and painful, especially when tugged on over pig-tails
* never venture into the deep end of the pool without a buddy

These days, when we wouldn't be seen in public in even a dry Spanx brand bathing suit, we still rely on the buddy system. And it isn't just us. Would Lucy have ever made it onto the stage at the Tropicana Club without Ethel there to egg her on? Would Roseanne have opened the Lanford Lunch Box without Jackie's help (and her cash money)? Would Louise have stomped on that gas pedal if not for Thelma and her rebel yell? For good or for bad, women always seem to get more done when there is a buddy along for the ride.

When Suzanne came up with the idea of writing a food column for families struggling to stay on budget, she knew she needed someone to be Rachel to her Monica. Robin was right there, bringing hot coffee, frank honesty and a flawless nonsense detector to the partnership. The fact that she can make a dollar out of fifteen cents doesn't hurt either, especially when the only credentials Suzanne brings to the writing of Frugal Feasts is a 25 year old English degree and five hungry children who seem to expect dinner on the table every single night. Without Robin, Suzanne would have been running recipes for all sorts of complicated sauces that no one would ever make (including Suzanne). Without Robin, you folks wouldn't know that Wishbone Italian Dressing is the secret to perfect lasagna, chicken marinade and the good life in general. Without Robin, there would undoubtedly be less snorted coffee around Concord-she is damn funny and always comes up with the perfect paragraph ending quip. She's always got a last good nerve to share, along with a shovel, a dish towel and a drill sergeant's knack for keeping things on schedule.


When Robin decided it was time to hang up her Fru Gal apron to focus on her first grandchild and her daughter in law, both of whom have moved in while her son completes his Air Force basic training, Suzanne completely freaked out. Maybe not as bad as the time we had to drive our gingerbread shoe over to the Monitor for the infamous gingerbread battle of '09 (suck it Tim O'Shea) but pretty darn close. There were tears. There was wine. There was a lot of hugging.

And just like Season 4 when Bethany and Jill Zarin had to find their own paths, Suzanne is going to try to write the column on her own. That is a terrible analogy. Robin doesn't even ice skate and no one would ever call Suzanne a skinny girl. It would be better to compare us to Rhoda and Mary, once Rhoda moved back to New York to ride the subway to her wedding because Phyllis forgot to pick her up, but we can never seem to agree on which of us is the Mary and which is the Rhoda.

Robin will make guest appearances from time to time; look for her Thanksgiving stuffing recipe this November when we tussle again with Tim O'Shea, and any other time Suzanne needs a little inspiration and a firm hand to guide her away from recipes with more than 15 ingredients. Please just make sure to continue to scrutinize her cart when you run into her at Market Basket. She loves it when people comment on the cartons of Ramen noodles and diet soda.

Suzanne and Robin have been quite a pair (of what we won't say). Another good pair is rice and beans. Together they form a complete protein, and while much less snarky than The Fru Gals, are still pretty awesome. This recipe, adapted from the Moosewood Simple Suppers Cookbook, is a lot like us: colorful, hearty and yes, cheap!

Photo by Ken Williams for The Concord Monitor

Black Beans and Yellow Rice with Pickled Red Onions Adapted from Moosewood Simple Suppers Serves 4

Pickled Onions
2 medium sized red onions, sliced into thin rings
3 cups boiling water
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon sugar
1/4 teaspoon ground allspice
1 tablespoon vinegar
1/4 cup fresh lime juice
1 teaspoon Tabasco sauce, or more or less to taste

Place the onions in a heatproof bowl and cover with the boiling water. Set aside for 10 minutes. Whisk together the remaining ingredients in a small bowl. After 10 minutes drain the onions well and toss with the salt and sugar mixture. Stir occasionally until ready to serve. These keep for weeks in the fridge.

Yellow Rice
1 1/2 cups white rice
1 teaspoon vegetable oil
1 teaspoon turmeric
2 1/4 cups water
1/2 teaspoon salt

Heat the oil in a medium sized saucepan and stir in the turmeric and the rice. Cook on medium heat for a minute or two stirring constantly then add the water and salt. Lower the heat to a gentle simmer, cover and cook undisturbed for 12-15 minutes until rice is tender and all the water is absorbed.

Black Beans

1 tablespoon vegetable oil
2 cloves of garlic, minced
1 teaspoon ground cumin
2 teaspoons dried oregano
Handful of chopped cilantro (optional)

Heat the oil in a large saucepan. Add the garlic, cumin and oregano and cook together over medium heat for a minute, making sure not to burn the garlic. Add the undrained beans and bring to a simmer. Serve over the rice and under the onions, garnished with the cilantro.