Missing Column: Frugal Feasts December 29 2010

Somehow we missed posting this one.....which is a shame because it contains very valuable advice. And a recipe too....

The Fru Gals Answer Your Financial Questions:

Great recipes, sage advice

For 2011, the Fru Gals serve up deliciously inexpensive meals with a free side of financial advice

Can Christmas really be over already?

We spend months squirreling money away and countless hours shopping, decorating and cooking, and then, woosh, the whole thing is over faster than a 10-year-old ripping the wrapping paper off a 400-piece Lego set.

The only parts of the Fru Gals' Christmas that seem to linger are the pine needles stuck in the fringe of our one good rug and the damn bills.

2010 was no different, but somehow we pulled off another memorable Christmas, even though this year money was so tight it squeaked and we can only grocery shop during vampire-safe hours when we are certain not to run into the checkout girls who go to school with our sons and would be all too happy to report on the decline of our debit cards. We are no financial geniuses but every time a reader expresses surprise that neither Fru Gal has yet filed for bankruptcy and/or moved into a tent down by the Merrimack we wonder if maybe others can benefit from the many years we've spent broke.

It is in this spirit that we start a new series:

The Fru Gals Answer Your Financial Questions.

If you think you can find a better place to get financial advice than the food page, by all means go there.

Now.

Which grocery store has the longest delay between when I write a check and when they present it to the bank for payment?

We have a friend who used to have this down cold. She might not have been able to balance the checkbook, but she determined with mathematical precision that if her husband got paid on Thursdays, she could write a check to Shaw's on Wednesday evenings after 6, Hannaford when they opened on Wednesday mornings and Market Basket Tuesdays after 4.

These days, it's all electronic and we swear checks bounce before the ink on them is dry.

Instead of gambling with overdraft fees, we suggest checking the sofa and the dryer for change. Scrounge up $3 and you'll be able to buy two bags of frozen tortellini and sauce it with what one clever reader fondly refers to as Cream of Crisper Drawer.

The stores where I shop don't offer free gift boxes any more. Can I reuse boxes from past years to wrap this year's gifts?

Absolutely! Save the boxes from nice stores but be prepared for the disappointment on your loved one's face when she sees a birthday box from Coach or Abercrombie and opens up to find a sweater from Walmart. Remind her that it's the thought that counts.

I keep seeing celebrities with blond hair and roots so dark it has got to be intentional. Is adopting this look a good strategy for stretching out the time between hair appointments?

If your roots are dark, we say go for it. Madonna has been setting the style since even the Fru Gals were young.*

* This is not an acceptable strategy if your roots are gray, though - the only celebrity you'll resemble is Lily Munster.


Heating my home is so expensive. What temperature do the Fru Gals recommend for maximum savings and minimum discomfort?

After much trial and error we have concluded that 60 degrees is the breaking point. Any lower and the pipes will freeze and your kids might have a legitimate claim of abuse. On the plus side you'll be able to unplug the refrigerator because meat will stay fresh right on the counter!

Do the Fru Gals agree that switching over to cloth napkins is better for the environment and cheaper, too?

This one really depends on the size of your family. When you've got families as big and disgusting as ours, the napkin supply needed for each day is daunting. We've got boys who use napkins as hankies and boys who use napkins to wipe their golf shoes and boys who wouldn't put a pair of dirty shorts in the proper place for love or Justin Bieber tickets but will wad up a clean napkin and stuff it right in the hamper. Even a relatively dry meal is good for about a dozen and then comes the washing and the folding so they look spiffy in the napkin basket. A jumbo package of paper napkins is about a buck and a half. You do the math. For the record, the second we get all these kids out the door and there are only two people living in our homes, we are going to go 100 percent cloth. We are pretty sure the 50 napkins we each own will then suffice.

Will my wife appreciate a wood stove in the kitchen?

Oh sure. There is nothing like a nice fire on a cold morning. And don't underestimate the benefit of letting your bride feel like she is Ma Ingalls - working hard to keep her family warm while she cooks the meals and folds the napkins. You men folk will buy the wood and stack it neatly by the kitchen door and she will thank you daily for the opportunity to step outside in her robe and slippers to uncover the wood, wrestle a few logs from the frozen pile, lug them into the kitchen, scavenge a match, fill the house with smoke and then get on with her day. She will love it when the women in her office sniff the air suspiciously when she passes by and wonder out loud about what could be burning. And she will be so grateful you didn't "wimp out" and have a gas line run to the stove. You are so right, switches are for sissies.

If my in-laws send a birthday check for one of my children and I cash it and buy shoes for me, will I go straight to hell?

Straight? No, certainly not straight.

Here is a family meal that gets a five-star Fru Gal rating: Cheap, delicious and 100 percent chickpea free.

Bonus meal: When there are just a few pieces of broken sausage left, chop them up into bits and serve the whole mess over pasta; make sure to pass the Parmesan.

Slow Cooker Sausage and Peppers
2 pounds sweet Italian sausage or hot, if you like to live dangerously
3 medium onions, halved and then sliced into thin wedges
6 green and/or red bell peppers, seeded and sliced thinly into strips
4 cloves garlic, smashed
2 28-ounce cans crushed tomatoes
1 6-ounce can tomato paste
1 teaspoon kosher salt
1 tablespoon Italian seasoning
freshly ground black pepper to taste
½ teaspoon crushed red pepper flakes, more or less to taste
crusty sub rolls for serving
Prick each sausage link once or twice with a fork and cook over medium heat in a heavy covered pan with about a half cup of water until the sausages are no longer pink. Once the water has evaporated, remove the cover, turn the heat down to medium/low and let the sausages brown up a little. Move them around with a pair of tongs so they don't stick to the pot.
Toss the onions, peppers and garlic in the bottom of a 5 quart slow cooker and arrange the sausages on top. Stir together the crushed tomatoes, paste, salt, pepper and spices in a large bowl and pour over the sausages and vegetables. Cook on low for 8 to 10 hours, until sausages are tender and vegetables have softened. Serve on the rolls and top with lots of sauce.
Makes 8 large subs with leftovers.

Down and Dirty Dinner: Cream of Crisper Drawer

Cream of Crisper Drawer

Thanks to Frugal reader Millie for finally giving a name to a Fru Gal Favorite--pasta topped with a delectable white sauce and whatever hasn't liquefied in the bottom of the fridge.

This is the perfect dinner for those days when you either can't get to the market because you are too busy or because you have flat run out of money.

It is delicious and at least fairly nutritious. And while this version is vegetarian, if you've got some leftover protein, feel free to chop it up and add it at the end.

Cream of Crisper Drawer

To Serve 6-8 starving minions

Ingredients:

1 pound box of pasta, or two bags frozen tortellini, cooked according to package directions, drained and dumped into a warm serving bowl.
6 tablespoons butter
1/3rd cup flour
3 1/2 cups of milk or a combination of milk, light cream and /or half and half, nuked until very warm--I know this step is a pain but it makes all the difference in keeping the sauce lump free.
1 teaspoon kosher salt
fresh ground pepper to taste -- about 6-8 cranks of the pepper mill
1 teaspoon Dijon mustard
1/2 cup Parmesan cheese, optional
3 cups mixed vegetables--fresh or frozen or a combination.
If the vegetables are fresh, cut them into very small bits so they cook quickly.
Suggestions: bell peppers, celery, carrots, onions, scallions.
Greens are good too-- spinach, Swiss chard, etc, just be sure to remove the tough stems and finely chop the leaves.
If you want to use broccoli, potatoes or anything else really hard, you might want to nuke them for 3-4 minutes to soften.
If the vegetables are frozen, dump them into a colander and run them under hot water to declump and soften them. Drain well before using.
Suggestions: Peas, carrots, corn, broccoli, green beans (really drain well), pearl onions, mixed veggies.

Directions:

1. Melt the butter in a large heavy skillet over medium low heat.
2. If you've got an onion and/or some garlic, mince it and add it to the butter and let it cook for two minutes until the onion is limp and glossy and the garlic is fragrant.
   
3. If you are using any other fresh vegetables like red or green pepper or diced carrots or celery, add them and let them cook for a minute or two, stirring frequently and watching the heat. You want the vegetables limp not brown and you don't want the butter to burn. If you don't have an onion, and are just using frozen vegetables, go to step 3.
4. Add the flour and move it around the pan until it is well mixed with the butter.
5. Let cook for a minute, turning down the heat if necessary to keep the mixture golden. Don't let it brown, and keep stirring.
6. Add the warm milk/cream and whisk constantly until the sauce starts to bubble.
7. Add the salt, pepper and mustard and keep whisking.
8. Taste and add more salt if needed.
9. Add about a half cup of Parmesan if you;ve got enough, otherwise save the cheese for passing at the table.
   
10. Add frozen vegetables (remember to rinse and drain) and stir to coat everything with the sauce.
11. Turn down the heat to low and stir occasionally until the whole mess is hot and bubbling.
12. Pour the sauce over the pasta.
13. Serve, passing extra Parmesan around if you've got it.
    

Christmas Hangover

This cartoon says it all

MERRY MERRY AFTER CHRISTMAS, On to New Years Resolutions

Oh Betty Crocker!

I was tooling around the interwebs looking for a couple new cookie idea. I saw these totes adorable candy canes at Betty Crocker.com and got to work making the dough. And coloring the dough. And then rolling out and twisting the dough. And baking the dough, and of course, garnishing the dough.

D'oh!

Worst. Looking. Cookies. Ever.

Disgusted, I headed out to run some errands and noodled on how to salvage things. And then I thought "PINWHEELS". Out came the green food coloring, the rolling pin and a jar of sparkling green sanding sugar.

Et voila!

They might induce seizures but at least they aren't sad.

Holiday Appetizer Idea: Hot Pepper Jelly

Does either of our readers know how to spell Jhuzh? It's that word that sounds kinda Yiddishy that means to spiff up.

Well what all y'all are looking up is a Jhuzhed up some cream cheese, a jar of homemade hot pepper jelly and two sleeves of Ritz crackers.

If you are anti-jhuzhing, you could always just peel the foil off the brick of cheese, plop it onto a plate and pour the jelly over like some sort of vomity mess.

YUM!

Here's how to Jhuzh:

Take 2 8 ounce packages of cream cheese and nuke for 30 seconds or so.
Add a giant dollop of mayo or heavy cream or sour cream and blend well.
Spritz an an open 8 or 9 inch spring-form pan (without the bottom) with some Pam and center it on a serving platter.
Spread the softened cream cheese evenly in the ring.
Refrigerate until serving time.
Lift off the ring, top with an entire 6-8 ounce jar of hot pepper jelly and surround with Ritz crackers, or store brand equivalent.

Double Yum!

You can make your own hot pepper jelly in about an hour. Megan and I made a ton of it last August, but since everything is still available at the grocery store, you could make some now. I was going to link to the post about the pepper jelly but apparently I never did one. Idiot!

On My Christmas List: Simple Times Crafts for Poor People by Amy Sedaris

LOVE HER and cannot wait to find this book under my tree. I mean, heck, I'm crafty. AND wicked poor to boot!

Let's see what Amy herself has to say about it:




Here is one great idea from the book that I hope my coworkers down at the brewery don't find out about:

Save up the crumbs when you bake cookies and store them in your freezer, and when you have a substantial amount, sprinkle them on a plate, add a card that says, "Enjoy the cookies!" with your name on it, and take them to work. Everyone will think that you were thoughtful and brought cookies without you having to do the work.


Bwhahahahahahaha

Crafting for Fun and Profit: Princess Pine Wreaths

Just a little foraging in the forests of The 'Shire, a quick trip to the craft store and about 5 milligrams of Adderall and you too can craft your way to adorable little wreaths that look great on mirrors and all sorts of other spots that need a dose of holiday cheer.

Sadly I do not have a photo of me and two of my minions traipsing through the woods of Bow, New Hampshire on our hands and knees with a reusable shopping tote and a pair of Felco pruners, but it wouldn't matter anyway because without audio of Tate and Hayden whining it wouldn't really evoke the spirit of the endeavor.

Anyhoo--get a big bag of Princess Pine--it grows close to the ground deep in the woods and grows about 5-6 inches high--you'll also need a small bale of #22 green wire and a bunch of small grapevine wreaths. I use the six-inch grapevine wreaths -- two for a buck or so --because I like them to look really lush and full. If you'd prefer a leaner wreath by all means get the bigger ones--just keep in mind that the bigger the grapevine, the more foraging you'll have to do.



Spread out on a counter and get to work: Bunch together 4-6 sprigs of pine and wire it leaving long tails of wire on both ends.





Use the tails to secure the bunch to the grapevine and twist the wire to keep the bunch in place.


Keep going...

Use as many bunches as you need in order to fill out the wreath, and when you are done the back should look pretty cool too....


Now comes the fun part....


For this one I tied on two lengths of gingham ribbon and stuffed in two sprays of yellow stars, with the ends of the sprays tucked under the bow. I tried to splay out the stars and have them follow the curve of the wreath but clearly I could have futzed with this one a little longer. It's hanging in my kitchen on the back of a door.


On this one, currently wired to my monitor down at the brewery, has the same ribbon and a bunch of vintage Christmas lights--I just wrapped a long piece of wire to the screw end and tucked the wires under the bow. It looks much better than this crappy photo but I forgot my camera again today and if I wait any longer this post will be totally (as opposed to only partially) irrelevant.



This one is in my dining room on a large mirror--I added nothing more than a double bow of wired, velvet ribbon and then curled and scrunched up the ends a'la Cobblestone Design.

Each one of these takes about 20 minutes to put together, and look so much cuter than anything you can find in the stores. Well, if by "stores" you mean Market Basket and Family Dollar.

Merry Christmas!

The Soup Doctor

Have all y'all seen the horrible video of Sandra Lee's semi-homemade kwanzaa cake? You know, the one that Anthony Boudrain said the sheer sight of which would make your eyeballs burst into flames?




I am thinking about that horrible video, her ridiculous eyemake up and her insane tablescapes as I write this post.

Because most of this recipe comes out of a bunch of cans. Just like another recent post (and column) on another soup that starts off with a hand cramped from cranking open a bunch of cans.

Have I become an older, grayer, poorer AND fatter New Hampshire version of Sandra Lee?

Probably better than being the office drunk, a title I am sure to win after Thursday night's shenanigans at the holiday party down at the Brewery. If only I'd stuck with a couple bottles of Shotz beer and not have mixed up a batch of Pomegranate Cosmopolitans. And then tried to drown myself with them. But I digress.

So about the Santa Chowder:

Really delicious, really easy and serves a ton of people. It nearly tastes homemade, and there isn't a candle or an acorn in sight. bonus: no exploding eyeballs.

Santa Chowder:

20 Servings

1 cup diced red peppers
1 cup sliced green onions, white and green parts
4 diced medium sized potatoes
3 tablespoons butter
2 teaspoons dried thyme
9 cans ready to eat clam chowder--store brand is fine
9 small cans chopped clams, liquor from 3 cans reserved, the rest of them drained
1 quart heavy cream

Saute the peppers, onions and potatoes in the butter over medium heat until limp and glossy. Cover and keep on low until the potatoes are cooked through--maybe 15 minutes--stirring occasionally.

Crack open the cans and mix everything together in a giant soup or stock pot. Slowly heat to a simmer over lowish heat. Let simmer for a good 20 minutes or so to blend the flavors. Serve with those disgusting, dry little crackers if you like that sort of thing.

An Ode to Butter: New Frugal Feasts Column

Ken Williams for The Concord Monitor

We don’t know how the first bit of butter came to be but using our own marriages as a framework we can easily imagine the following scenario: Some guy in a good mood decides to swing the milk pail all the way from the barn to the kitchen one morning and sheepishly deposits a gallon of lumpy froth on the counter, hoping against hope that she won’t notice. His wife, who had been waiting and waiting and waiting for the milk so she can serve breakfast and get on with her day, served it right up. Poor guy had no choice but to choke it down.

Butter as a punishment—if only every passive-aggressive marital standoff could end so deliciously.

We love everything about butter. The gorgeous color, the lilting flavor, the mouth-watering aroma. A knob of butter and some gentle heat transforms even the most flaccid of peppers and sprouty of onions into heaven in a pan. Butter has all the sweet, creamy goodness that are lacking in other areas of our lives. Our children may swear, our checks may bounce and our coffee may be weak and lukewarm but butter makes it all better.

Well, possibly not the clarity of our arteries or the size of our thighs, but before anyone starts dialing up the food police we’d like to state that YES we know that obesity is a terrible problem, and YES we understand that olive oil is much healthier, but there are times when only butter will get the job done.

You won’t find us decorating margarine cookies this holiday season and you couldn’t pay us to serve Canola Oil Crunch ice cream on top of slabs of our Gooey Trans-fat Free Spread Cake.

If you seriously Can’t Believe it’s Not Butter we seriously can’t believe you’ve got a single working taste bud.

Butter even sounds good. First of all, how about that sizzle in the pan? We’ll bet you a steak sandwich smothered in fried onions that your mouth is watering right now just thinking about the sound. The goodness of butter is all over the English language.

What do we do when we want something from the boss? We butter her up!

What words do we use to describe the feel of a luxurious fabric? Buttery soft, natch.

And what is it they pump onto the month-old popcorn at the movie theatre? Buttery topping of course.

No one in their right mind would ever say yes if the sullen teen behind the register asked if we’d like a squirt of partially hydrogenated coconut and cottonseed oils flavored with salt, beta carotene and artificial butter flavor on our 5 gallon buckets. Never!

It may seem counter-intuitive, but as our family budgets are squeezed ever tighter, butter becomes less and less of a splurge.

Even on our worst bare-cupboard days, there is always a half a stick of butter in the back of the fridge that we know will transform a box of store brand macaroni and a couple shakes of “cheese” from the green jar into a dinner that everyone will eat with relish.

And we’re not sure any of our little darlings would ever touch a vegetable without a little buttery lubrication—just a pat and even the wrinkly, freezer-burnt peas from the improperly closed bag are gobbled right up.

For once the foodies are with us: Whip up a classic omelet with a few mushrooms sauteed in butter and you’ll have a frugal dish that even Julia Child would serve with pride and better wine.

Speaking of Julia—we loved the movie Julie and Julia and while Merryl Streep’s transformation was incredible and we loved the unfolding of blogger Julie Powell’s New York Times moment; it was when Amy Adams leaves a pound of butter beneath Julia’s portrait in the Smithsonian that we got weepy, not to mention jealous.

We’ve just got to find out where they sell those giant bricks of butter!

For this week’s recipe we’ve taken a Canadian classic from The Joy of Baking and made it even more decadent:

Butter Toffee Butter Tarts
Makes 12 4-inch tarts
We make a sweet, buttery tart crust in the food processor for this recipe, but this filling is scrumptious ladled into pre-made pie crusts too--just cut out circles to fit your pans. And muffin tins work perfectly well for these tarts—we used the small, flat tart pans so Ken Williams would have an easier time photographing yet another plate of brown food.
Tart Crust Pastry (Pate Brisee):
1 1/4 cups all-purpose flour
½ teaspoon salt
2 tablespoons granulated sugar
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, chilled, and cut into 1 inch pieces
1/8 to 1/4 cup ice water—measure by putting ¼ cup cold water into a measuring cup and adding a few ice cubes
Put the flour, salt and sugar into the bowl of a food processor and blitz for a few seconds to combine. Add the butter and pulse until the mixture looks like coarse crumbs and there are no giant lumps of butter visible. Add a dribble of the ice water and blitz just until the dough comes together. Add another dribble or two of water if the dough seems very dry and won’t clump.
Scrape the dough into a thick disk, wrap in plastic and chill for at least a half hour. Roll out carefully, using plenty of flour, and cut into circles at least an inch bigger around than the circumference of the pans. Carefully press into the pan and let the tart shells chill for another half hour while you make the filling:
Butter Tart Filling:
1/2 cup (1 stick) unsalted butter, softened
1 cup packed light brown sugar
2 large eggs
1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract
1/4 cup light cream or half and half
1/2 cup toffee chips, or raisins if you insist. (optional)

Cream the butter and sugar together until fluffy using either a stand or a hand mixer. Add the eggs one at a time and beat well. Add the vanilla extract and the cream and mix well, being sure to scrape all the way to the bottom of the bowl. If using the optional toffee chips or raisins, add about a teaspoon to the bottom of each unbaked tart shell and then carefully pour in the filling mixture, being sure not to fill them any more than two thirds of the way full as the filling will puff up in the oven. Bake at 375 degrees for 15-20 minutes or until the tops are brown and the filling isn’t all jiggly. A scoop of Butter Crunch ice cream would be a totally decadent and unnecessary garnish.

Just thought you might enjoy this photo my 12 year daughter put together for her facebook...

Crazy Girl, I do hope that her talents don't go undiscovered.

It would be a shame.

I'll Tell Ya What I Want, What I Really Really Want...

As part of my continuing series of Things that Cost a Thousand Dollars that I Won't Be Getting I offer the Kjus Knight Jacket.

Here's what Lasse himself wrote about this one...

The Kjus Knight Jacket for women will rescue any damsel in distress from cold, wintery weather. With it's waterproof fabric and zips, snow gaiter, removable neckwarmer, and primaloft insulation, this jacket protects like armour. The Kjus Knight Jacket is a 4-way stretch retro inspired jacket with colorful side accents which are sure to flatter any woman's figure. Kjus did not miss a beat with this ski jacket. It's sleek, it's beautiful, it's Kjus. It's not gonna happen.

Instead I'll be spending another freezing New Hampshaa wintah in my long black puffy coat looking like a chubby garbage bag on legs.

Soup in a Snap: New Frugal Feasts Coulmn

Photo by Ken Williams for The Concord Monitor

Every time we log onto Facebook it's like that scene in Animal House where Pinto is trying to decide what to do with the Mayor's over served daughter: we've got an angel on one shoulder and the devil on the other and that poor angel doesn't stand a chance.

Who is going to listen to that goody two shoes admonishing us to close the computer and get started on the pile of laundry in the boys' bathroom that is nearing the size of a small ice floe when that little devil is cooing in our ear "it's been hours since you checked in. Couldn't hurt to just take a peek...."

Oh Facebook. What would we do without you? Well, possibly vacuum with more regularity and not have dust bunnies the size of tumbleweeds, that's one thing. There are probably more things we could accomplish without the time suck of Facebook, but we spent so much time scrolling through posted Thanksgiving pictures last weekend that we had to scramble to meet our column deadline. For those of you who have not yet logged on, think of Facebook as the cyber equivalent of the bar on Cheers-a place where everyone knows your name. And who you are married to, and what swears your children use with shocking frequency, and how well fed your best friend from high school is and who has the ugliest pets. For the record, Suzanne is totally the Diane. Which makes Robin the Carla.


Facebook allows the Fru Gals to indulge in all sorts of shallow emotions. There is petty annoyance-with those friends who sound like their status updates are written in syrup: Up early today...sun is shining...went for a 5 mile walk...life is GOOD. Or how about: Another great day being married to my best friend. GAK! What the heck does that even mean? We've also got envy: Just thought I'd post some photos from our trip to Paris...Walter surprised me with five days in the city of light. Grrrrrrr! And of course there is schadenfreude, our favorite five dollar word that means feeling good about others' misfortune. We find ourselves brimming with schadenfreude when we see less than flattering photos of our Facebook friends and chortle at the computer: ha ha, she sure looks like hell. And those kids? God bless!

Feeling lonely? Get yourself on Facebook, stat! Within minutes you'll be racking up friend requests like it's your job. Folks from elementary school, people you haven't seen since you hung up your apron at Baskin Robbins in 1978, high school classmates of whom you have only the vaguest recollection, all are on Facebook and they all want to be your friend. Well, your Facebook friend anyway. Which are different from real world friends in crucial ways. For example you'd probably never spend as much time looking at vacation photos taken by your real friends as you do on Facebook, and not just because it would be hard to contain the snarky comments in person.

The speed at which Facebook operates is definitely a double edged sword. Sure it's great to hit "share" and instantly get a photo of the world's most gorgeous turkey out on the interwebs, but it also enables you to humiliate yourself at warp speed. Not to mention any names here (Robin) but some of the worst spellers in the known world are sharing "there idears" daily. Back in the old days of cursive writing it was possible to get away with a certain amount of poor spelling. If you developed an especially loopy and decorative writing style you could run the letters together and fudge things a bit. These days people have to wonder if you're just clumsy or if all your grammar quizzes in high school were adorned with a big, fat, red F. And again, not to mention any names (Suzanne) but wine and Facebook do not mix. It's hard to maintain an aura of cynical worldliness when you turn into a giant sap after a glass or three.


The kids are none too happy about the adult invasion of what they consider their private cyber world. Nothing takes the cool out of a status update faster than having your Mom and her best friends give it a big old thumbs up. We try not to embarrass our children on Facebook but it is woefully hard. Especially given how adorable they looked eating drippy popsicles on the beach in their bathing suits. We are trying to navigate the fine line between ignoring some of the saltier language while still controlling some of the images that we know college admissions officers will take into consideration when reading their applications.


Opt out if you'd like, but for the time being, the Fru Gals are in. Sure we'd love it if the "My Mom's on Facebook" app from Jane Lynch's hilarious Saturday Night Live sketch were actually available, but even without it, we're going to keep reading our children's posts and generally waste time on Facebook. There will still be a pile of laundry at our houses even if we never logged on and besides, when we are feeling fat and frumpy and old, all we need to do is scroll through some photos. Within seconds we can usually find someone who is looking just as bad, if not worse. Maybe a better term is Facebook Frenemies.

Here is a dinner you can pull together in an instant when you finally come out of an especially trance-like Facebook fog and realize that the fam is going to be looking for dinner any minute. The hardest part is opening all the cans, and after 20 minutes at a slow simmer, this hearty soup it tastes like you've been cooking all day. LIKE!

Hearty Hodge-Podge

This recipe has been adapted from an old Good Housekeeping Recipe from the 1970s that Suzanne's mother used to make. It makes a ton, freezes well and is hearty enough to warm up skiers and pond hockey players.

Makes 12-15 servings
1 pound hot Italian sausage meat--or 1 pound hot Italian links removed from the casing
3 cloves garlic, minced
4 stalks celery chopped into small dice
1 medium onion, chopped into small dice
1/4 cup oregano-sounds like a lot but really works in this recipe
5 cans ready to eat Minestrone soup-any brand that doesn't have to be diluted with water.
2 15 ounce can baked beans-regular flavor
2 15 ounce can petite diced tomatoes, undrained Parmesan cheese for serving

In a large stock pot sauté the sausage over medium heat, breaking it up into little bits as it cooks. Adjust the heat as needed to keep the bottom of the pan from scorching.
When the sausage is no longer pink, remove with a slotted spoon and place in a colander to drain.
Remove all but about 2 tablespoons of the oil from the pan and add the celery, onion and garlic.
Sauté for two or three minutes, just until the onion is limp and glossy and the celery is bright green. Add back in the drained sausage and the oregano and stir for a minute or two.
Add the soup, baked beans and tomatoes and scrape the bottom of the pan to remove the browned bits.
Bring to a simmer and let bubble very slowly for 20 minutes to blend the flavors.
Serve hot with a shaving or two of good Parmesan cheese.

Damn It, My Mom's on Facebook

This is priceless.