The Soup Doctor

Have all y'all seen the horrible video of Sandra Lee's semi-homemade kwanzaa cake? You know, the one that Anthony Boudrain said the sheer sight of which would make your eyeballs burst into flames?




I am thinking about that horrible video, her ridiculous eyemake up and her insane tablescapes as I write this post.

Because most of this recipe comes out of a bunch of cans. Just like another recent post (and column) on another soup that starts off with a hand cramped from cranking open a bunch of cans.

Have I become an older, grayer, poorer AND fatter New Hampshire version of Sandra Lee?

Probably better than being the office drunk, a title I am sure to win after Thursday night's shenanigans at the holiday party down at the Brewery. If only I'd stuck with a couple bottles of Shotz beer and not have mixed up a batch of Pomegranate Cosmopolitans. And then tried to drown myself with them. But I digress.

So about the Santa Chowder:

Really delicious, really easy and serves a ton of people. It nearly tastes homemade, and there isn't a candle or an acorn in sight. bonus: no exploding eyeballs.

Santa Chowder:

20 Servings

1 cup diced red peppers
1 cup sliced green onions, white and green parts
4 diced medium sized potatoes
3 tablespoons butter
2 teaspoons dried thyme
9 cans ready to eat clam chowder--store brand is fine
9 small cans chopped clams, liquor from 3 cans reserved, the rest of them drained
1 quart heavy cream

Saute the peppers, onions and potatoes in the butter over medium heat until limp and glossy. Cover and keep on low until the potatoes are cooked through--maybe 15 minutes--stirring occasionally.

Crack open the cans and mix everything together in a giant soup or stock pot. Slowly heat to a simmer over lowish heat. Let simmer for a good 20 minutes or so to blend the flavors. Serve with those disgusting, dry little crackers if you like that sort of thing.