Does this Ring any Bells

I could not resist this...so damn real and in my house just add a few more boys and a couple girls and that is just about right :)

sunshine and lollipops

February is over. Over. OVER. Up here in the frozen tundra that is the 'Shire, it means that spring is just about two months away. Maybe it's the increase in the amount of sunshine, or maybe it's because they all go back to school in exactly 40 hours, or maybe it's that I am finally able to stand relatively upright after 3 days of crippling stomach problems, but I am so happy and cheerful to be here-- showered, with clean hair, wearing sweat pants and a delightful formerly black turtleneck from about 1987, in my house this afternoon.

Despite the fact that my 3 day "vacation" has left this house a certified disaster, a disaster on the scale of the recent presidency of GWB, I am really pretty happy. Go effing figure.

top chef season five picks a winner

Looks like Top Chef has jumped on the Frugal Feasts bandwagon. Here is Hosea on the season finale waving around his hard won baby from the gorge king cake that he had to split with Carla and Stephan. Just the three of them. One big ol' cake, cut into thirds.

Not just a Frugal Feasts Cake, but Suzanne and Robin's portion size too.....

Click here for a super snarky recap of the finale, courtesy of our pals at Gawker.

Ham and Bean Soup

It all starts with a beautiful Ham

This meal starts with the left over Ham Bone, some dry beans, onions, beef broth and water, wallah......................... Delicious Soup!!!!!!!!!

Photos of soup making are never very Glam, but we trudge forward just the same.....

Wash those beans and clean them out there are always a few little prizes among them

anything made with beef broth onions and beans is bound to be good, throw in the Ham bone and it is a go!!!!!!!!!!!

How easy is this, cover and wait good things are coming!!!!

Remove the bone, take the remaining meat and chop it up add the meat back to the pot and Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!! Easy, Cheap, and Delis who could ask for anything more :)

White Bean Soup with Ham
from How to Cook Everything Mark Bittman


1ham bone
3 cups navy,pea, or other dried beans ( washed and picked over)
12 cups chicken,beef, veggie stock or water
2 medium onions, quartered
salt and pepper to taste
minced fresh parsley leaves for garnish

1. place ham bone, beans and stock/water in a large saucepan turn the heat to medium high:add the onions.
When this boils turn down to heat to medium -low and cover partially.
Cook stirring occasionally,until the beans are very soft and meat is falling off the bone at least one hour.


2. Turn off the heat:remove the bone from the pot and let cool slightly.
take all the meat off the bone chop it and return to pot.
Season to taste garnish Enjoy.

Not So Much

I want to clear up the fact that I would never advertise my nonsense on the rear end of my vehicle, Having 8 children is an amazing thing for sure, how ever I do not like to advertise it especially in a car that the whole family can not fit in.... My husband loves his vanity plate and is proud to display it on his little van the kids call the eggplant , no macho issue there......so to each his own... with so many teenagers in our home I have never thought it was a good idea to label the car they drive...it causes quite a few sticky situations and lots and lots of reports, oh i saw the car parked at the ice rink last night at midnight ?????

oh what were you doing at the holiday inn last week. You get my drift who needs it I have enough other crap to deal with I do not need any extra speculation :)

boy crzy

I don't have the actual data to back this up, but I am fairly certain that New Hampshire has the highest number of vanity plates in the United States.

Robin's is totally normal: 8ISGR8...eight kids, which really is great (as long as you don't have to feed or clothe them).

So not to be outdone by my new neighbors here in the granite state, I jumped right on the vanity bandwagon. I thought this was so clever. I've got the five boys, and crazy ain't the half of it.

The only teeny tiny problem is that whenever we go anywhere as a family, my hubby usually drives.

This totally fem car.

With this totally inappropriate (for him) license plate.

If I had a dollar for every horrified look he has gotten from fellow motorists who are expecting a teenage girl to be tooling around in the dirty white Sienna and instead spy a middle aged bald man in the driver's seat.....well let's just say I wouldn't be worried about scraping together mortgage money.

I don't know if people think he is a pedophile, or a middle-aged gay, or possibly a middle-aged gay pedophile, but in general he gets pissed every time it happens.

So how totally psyched would he be if I bought this on E-bay?

I'm going to giggle myself silly all afternoon.

rupaul's drag race = best. show. ever.

Has anyone else seen the hot pink mess that is RuPaul's Drag Race?

Oh.
My.
God.

It's an elimination style reality show from an alternative universe.
A universe of unbelieveable wonders...
RuPaul. slick buff men in tiny boy short underwear, RuPaul, a butload of drag queens, RuPaul dressed as a hot black nerd, demented judges and did I mention RuPaul?

Top 5 Reasons to stop what you are doing and watch an episode
RIGHT NOW:

1

The queens:
glamorous and beautiful and bitchy and heartbreakingly sweet. You just can't look away; whether they are in their makeup, out of their makeup, or (best of all) putting on their makeup.
Watching them with the 40 shades of concealer and the 20 different shadows and the nine inch long lashes and there is no longer any mystery why my makeup looks so shitty.

2

When Miss LaRu issues a challenge, she doen't mess around. She arches an eyebrow, wags an impecably polished fingernail and snarls:
"Don't fuck it up"

3

There is a runway portion of the program and it seems like someone falls every week. Nothing funnier than a 6 foot tall girl sliding around in her fake hair and fake boobies and her size 12 pumps.

4

Nobody here is getting voted off any island or asked to pack their knives. No double cheek kiss and a soothing German "Auf."... on
Planet Ru it's all
"Chante, you stay and... Sashay Away"
(followed by her instructions to the loser to "go home and inspire the children")

And the best part...

5

The two contestants battling to stay on the program have to

• LIP SYNC FOR THEIR LIFE

Never, ever ever has modern civilization come up with a better way to pick a winner.
Total Genius!
Two drag queens, dolled up within an inch of their lives, belting it out in front of the judges.
I could watch all day.
Um, actually, I just did.
And seriously, this could totally work in real life. How much more fun would things be if we could use our lip synching skills to decide important issues.

For example:
Forget the Supreme Court....who wouldn't tune in to watch Bush and Gore belting out
"It's Raining Men" in front of Congress? Let the people decide!

Or what about two businessmen fighting over the lunch check having to go toe to toe on
Gloria Gaynor's I Will Survive?

Big rival high school basketball teams in a tied game? Let's get 'em out on the floor for a rousing rendition of anything by Abba?

OK I'll stop now, but only if you promise to watch one full episode,
courtesy of Tom and Lorenzo of Project Rungay.

Can I get an AMEN up in here?

The Envelope Please !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The Envelope Please

And The Winner is Suzanne Ellinwood , Most Fabulous Concord Housewife,

Okay Suzanne do not make me resurrect the dead barbie, your life is way to fab to be frugal. I think you might want to rein in your media whore behaviour, before you are thrown under the bus by your good friend and co-columnist ( in name only), Me .

Who did by way win the category of Most Boring Concord House Wife, I attended the award party hosted by me in my own living room , in my pj's with my stupid smelly, licking, forever licking pug, George Bailey. George, did remind me several times though that it is a wonderful life...even if mine happens to suck right now :)

ham casserole

In this week's column we are cooking a ham and eking three meals out of it before the bone is picked clean.

Ham, Ham Casserole, Ham and Bean Soup and Scalloped Potatoes, just because they are delish.

Here's our recipe for Ham Casserole.



First, heat a quart of light cream in the nuker for about 4 minutes, just until hot, not boiling.

Mince one medium sized onion:

Melt a stick of butter in a large heavy saucepan or skillet over medium heat:

Add the minced onion and simmer until onion is limp but not brown. Give it a stir or two.

Add 1/3rd cup flour and whisk to combine with the butter.

Cook for two minutes, whisking almost constantly.
Add the heated cream all at once:

Stir until there are no lumps.
Let mixture come to a boil and continue whisking until mixture is thick, about 2 minutes.
Add a tablespoon or so of dijon mustard:

Take 5 small red potatoes and slice thinly.
Put in a pot of salted water and bring to a boil. Cook until nearly done, approximately 5 minutes.

Try not to overcook the potatoes because they will cook some more in the casserole.

Drain the potatoes and scatter them in the bottom of a 10x13 baking pan or casserole dish.

Rinse a 15 ounce bag of frozen pearl onions and a 15 ounce bag of frozen peas and carrots under hot water to partially defrost. Add the veggies and two cups of chopped ham to the casserole dish:

Smooth all of the cream sauce over the vegetables and ham.
Cover with a sheet of foil and place on a cookie sheet.
Bake at 400 degrees for about 30 minutes, until the whole thing is bubbly:

Remove the foil....

Add enough refrigerator biscuits to cover the top, approximately 1 and 1/2 packages.
Don't worry if there are openings between the biscuits.

Brush the biscuits with beaten egg, if desired. Totally not necessary, but it makes the biscuits shiny and brown and gorge.

Put the casserole back in the oven (uncovered) for about 20 minutes until the biscuits are brown and cooked through.

Easily serves 8 pigs. I was planning on serving this tonight for dinner, but it was decimated at 10:30 by the two starving teens.

oscar night in concord

Photo by Wyatt Ellinwood

Last night Red River Theaters, our wine serving, stadium seated independent movie theater, held an officially sanctioned Oscar Party, hosted by the guy who won for On Golden Pond about a hundred years ago.

Food, Drink and all sorts of nonsense including the opportunity to have a picture taken with an actual Oscar statuette (surprisingly heavy). I wore a vintage gown from the Sallie Shop that was really sparkly and great, other than the fact that:

• The dress made me look tubby. OK the dress didn't make me look any thinner than I am, damn it!
  
• The whole thing fell apart the moment I sat down. Both shoulder straps ripped through and the top part flopped right over the empire waist. The only good thing is that the tube socks I had stuffed into my bra to fill out the dress didn't fall to the floor. Peter was able to put me back together with a couple of safety pins he finagled from the coat check guy.
  

Note to Steve: we were most certainly NOT having sex in the bathroom. eeeewwwwwww


As with most fabulous things we are lucky enough to attend, we were the guests of the Dupreys, looking smart as usual....

The event was hosted by New Hampshire Channel 9's own Tiffany Eddy, who clearly is not used to being seen from the waist down.

The dress rocked. The sensible work pumps? Not so much....

Have any interest in seeing what a dorkis malorkis I am live and in action? Watch this loathsome video. If you've had enough New Hampshire weather reporting to last you until next August (Hey! It snowed! Here's some video of falling snow! Here's a guy who has to move the nasty white stuff off the roads!)

Then just skip ahead to 1.55 to see me in my glory.

I make the real housewives of the OC seem like charter members of Mensa I shit you not.

WMUR 2/23 WEBISODE

Voodoo Barbie is Dead!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Voodoo Barbie is dead!!!!!!

Voodoo Barbie finally succumbed to all the pain and the children clamoring for her attention she passed away quietly never even made a peep (could it have been the mouth full of pins).. However on a more positive note or girl is home I think? Probably sleeping trying to recover from reentry which is almost as hard as pulling yourself away from the wonderful life we lead hear in the great N.H., Back to us , back to the never ending battle of trying to do it well when all is heading down the toilet, the saga continues...........Tune in for the Ham extravaganza.......not as exciting as fashion week and death by pins... but it is what is :)

one last photo

Just know that Christian Siriano turns his head and Vogues for the camera whenever a flash goes off.

So despite the fact it looks like I am some sort of fricking stalker,

he agreed to have his photo taken with me, and actually had his tiny little arm around my back.

Every time I look at this I giggle. I think I look even crazier than I did in that photo with Korto.

auf wiedersehen, big pink apple

*sigh*

the judges have decided.....

Some final questions:

It was nearly dark in the tent during the show....what the fu is up with Top American Designer Michael Kors and his sunglasses?

Why is Nina Garcia so damn skinny? She looks normal (i.e. a size 6) on camera.

When oh when is this season going to air?

How lucky am I to have escaped my regular life for 72 hours of bliss?

How can I ever convey my gratitude to Tom and Lorenzo?

Why do I have to go home?

salmonlicious

Whenever I am having a particularly bad day, in my mind I go to my happy place. The Cupping Room on the corner of Broome Street and West Broadway . It is just a neighborhood kind of place for breakfast or lunch but great googly moogly, what a neighborhood.

So when things get tough...deadly laundry back up, vomiting children, frozen kitchen pipes, bouncing checks.....I know that I could be sitting at this table, eating smoked salmon on a bagel, in like 5 hours. So far I haven't had to run screaming to Soho, but most days, it is good enough just to know that I could.

bobby d in the house? fuggedaboutit

Drinks last night at Gramercy Tavern.

One of Danny Meyer's spots, heavily financed by Robert De Niro. If you're gonna spend 28 dollars on two beers, it might as well be in a spectacularly beautiful bar at 20th and Lex. I didn't take a photo of Dana, because she looks too damn good. Bitch.

Come Home !!!!

Ok Suzanne It is time to come home....you are hurting all over... and if you would put down your damn arms and stop trying to attract all that media attention and pick up those babies....remember them the 5 little boys you left here in the Shire, Alone with the hairy chef to care for them......

auf!

It's a cold world, and I'm sure not talking about the temperature outside.

Not 10 minutes after Tim and Heidi's sad little speech, the project runway logo was being peeled off the scrim.

I can honestly say it was fun while it lasted....

hey there barbie girl

I find it ironic that my writing partner Robin has been voodooing up a storm today sticking pins in some damn doll. Especially since Barbie has been celebrated this week here in the tent in Bryant Park. If I had Barbie's legs I'd totally be wearing that swimsuit, even in February.

Earlier during fashion week top designers made barbie inspired outfits for her big 5-0. The display was killer.

Hey is that Fern Mallis at the BAR?

media whore

crazy suzie and korto

giant faced sweaty looking Suzie and Kenley. And hey, this is funny, her voice is even more annoying in person. She is awfully cute though. Still, I cannot believe one of the designers didn't just stab her in the neck with a pair of pinking shears. You could hear her nasally honk echoing thoughout the tent.



Joe, darling Joe. Met his darling wife too. He was too cute for words. An adorable little pocket sized designer, and not even gay.

Here I am with my new pal Sarah from Virginia. We are two of the lucky people that got tix from Tom and Lorenzo at project rungay. She is also responsible for wielding the camera for me.

more of the show

The collections were a little somber, and as so many of project rungay's readers have noted, there wasn't much color in the three collections. This coat, which combined leather and chunky knits, looked like the kind of thing that Christian and Jillian could have collaborated on. I also really liked the hair and the hats.

This collection was a little frillier than the other two, but still not a lot of color, other than the dress that Amanda wore which was really pretty in a Rami sort of way. I did not like the sexy mullet hair, as one of the project rungay people called it. The 'dos were stiff and lumpy and weird. Hmmm, not unlike my 47 year old legs.

Numb Hands ?

OMG what could be causing that.................. maybe you should stop all that damn eating and lounging..... and get you arse home like I said....maybe you are coming down with the flu ?

a girl's got to eat

It takes a lot of eating to keep myself a healthy size. Srsly, I need to devote 2 or 3 hours a day to snarfing down calories or I just get too thin.

As.
Fricking.
If.

Photo is of my lunch: Smoked Salmon and American Caviar Tartine.

In case you didn't know, "Tartine" apparently means open faced, twenty dollar sandwich with bread flown in daily from Pouilane in Paris.

At least it does at the cafe on the 5th floor of Saks. I am sitting here on the 5th floor, just around the corner from the Milly and Nanette Lepore displays.

If you look closely at 30 Rockefeller Center out the window, you can kinda see Tina Fey on the 25th floor.

heaven on a plate!

we so heart bonnie slotnick

Cookbook guru Bonnie Slotnick in her natural habitat, her tiny jewelbox of a vintage cookbook store at 163 West 10th Street in Greenwich Village.

Here are two sentences that actually came out of her mouth as I was doing research for our Frugal Feasts cookbook:

"Oh, that book is Amy Sedaris' favorite cake decorating book. "

"Jessica Seinfeld came here to do all her research for her cookbook".

Do I really have to go home in 21 hours?

Head hurting

I know... I know.... Dear Suzanne, your head is killing you with all this excitement, my advice, take 2 advil and come right home :)